How to Write a Letter of Wishes — Canadian Companion to Your Will
The will captures the legal distribution of assets. The letter of wishes captures everything else — the human, personal, contextual guidance that the executor and family need but that doesn't belong in a formal legal document. For testators who want their estate plan to honour both their assets and their values, a letter of wishes is the natural complement to the will.
What a letter of wishes is
An informal document, typically handwritten or typed (sometimes video-recorded), written by the testator to provide guidance that doesn't fit the will. The letter is:
- Not legally binding
- Not filed with probate
- Not subject to formal requirements (signatures, witnesses)
- Easily updated by the testator at any time
- Typically read by the executor and key family members after the testator's death
Its purpose is to give the people who will administer or inherit your estate the personal context they need.
Common contents
Explanation of unusual provisions. "I'm leaving my city home to [child A] and an equivalent dollar value to [child B] from the residue. This reflects that child A has been my primary caregiver for the past five years; I want both children to receive comparable value."
Guidance to trustees. For trusts created for minor children, disabled dependants, or other beneficiaries — guidance on values, preferences, and intentions. "I want these funds primarily used for [purpose]. I trust the trustee to make specific decisions, but my hope is..."
Personal messages. Parting words to spouse, children, lifelong friends. Blessings. Advice. Reflections on shared experiences. Things the testator wants to say but couldn't fit into living conversations.
Funeral and memorial preferences. Even if the will captures basic funeral wishes, the letter can include deeper detail — specific music, specific people to invite, specific elements that mattered.
Location of important documents. Even if the Life Discovery Kit covers this, the letter can reinforce the location.
Family history and values. Stories about family origins, values that mattered, hopes for future generations.
Gratitude. To family, friends, caregivers, anyone who made a difference.
Guidance on family heirlooms. Stories behind specific objects, hopes for their care and continuation.
How to write it
There's no required format. Common approaches:
Single comprehensive letter. All content in one document, organized by topic or by recipient.
Multiple letters. One overall letter plus individual letters to specific people (spouse, each child, executor).
Video recording. Some testators record themselves speaking the content. More personal but harder to update.
Handwritten or typed. Both work. Handwritten can feel more personal; typed is easier to update.
Annotated. Include dates of any updates, so the executor knows what's current.
How long it should be
Vary with the testator's intent. Short letters (1-3 pages) for testators with simple wishes. Longer documents (10+ pages) for testators with substantial life stories, complex trust guidance, or detailed funeral wishes. No required length.
Distinguishing from the will
The letter must not contradict the will or attempt to modify the will's distributions. If you want to change the will, change the will — don't try to do it through the letter. The letter provides guidance and context; it doesn't override legal distributions.
What to do if your wishes change
Update the letter as often as life changes. Some testators rewrite the letter annually as part of their estate plan review; others update only when major changes occur. Each version should be dated; superseded versions should be destroyed or clearly marked as superseded.
Storage and access
Keep the letter with the will so the executor finds both together. Tell the executor and key family members that the letter exists. Some testators keep one copy with the lawyer and another at home; others use a single trusted location.
The Life Discovery Kit can include the letter or reference its location.
What we focus on at It's Simple Will
The will questionnaire in It's Simple Will generates the formal will. A letter of wishes is something the testator writes separately — we encourage it and can provide template guidance, but the letter itself is the testator's personal document.
Related guides
Citations & sources
- [1]Canadian Bar Association — Wills, Estates and Trusts section — Canadian Bar Association
Frequently asked questions
Is a letter of wishes legally binding?
No. The letter is a moral guidance document, not a legal instrument. Its contents do not have the force of the will and are not enforceable on their own. But — executors and trustees typically honour the testator's expressed wishes out of respect, and the letter provides important context for decisions they have to make under their legal authority. In some specific situations (guidance to a trustee managing a children's trust), a trustee exercising genuine discretion is expected to take the testator's expressed intent into account — but that is the trustee's own legal duty to exercise discretion properly, not the letter itself becoming binding.
How is it different from the will?
The will is a formal legal document with specific requirements (signature, witnesses, etc.) that creates binding distributions. The letter is informal — handwritten, typed, or even videotaped. The will needs to be drafted carefully (often with legal help); the letter can be drafted casually by the testator alone. The will is filed publicly when probated; the letter typically remains private between testator, executor, and family.
What should I include?
Common contents — explanation of unusual will provisions ('I'm leaving more to [child] because [reason]'), guidance to trustees ('use these funds for education first'), personal messages to specific beneficiaries (parting words, blessings, advice), funeral and memorial preferences (if not addressed elsewhere), location of important documents, family history or values you want preserved, gratitude expressions, guidance on family heirlooms.
How long should it be?
As long as it needs to be. Short letters (1-2 pages) work for testators with simple wishes. Longer documents (5-20 pages or more) work for testators with substantial family stories, complex trust guidance, or detailed funeral wishes. Quality matters more than length.
Where should it be stored?
With the will. The executor needs access to both. Keep with the will at the lawyer's office (if the will is stored there), in your home safe with the will, or in another secure location. Tell your executor where to find it.
Should I share it with family during my lifetime?
Personal choice. Some testators share the letter (or a version of it) during life to facilitate conversation. Others keep it private to be read after death. There's no requirement; what matters is that the executor has access at the right time.